Tag Archives: thoughts

Life is life – or how to say thanks ….

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No nothing related to the famous song from the 80ies and even covered by Laibach. My life. As it is right now. Great. Smooth. Not relaxed because of my job. But I definitely like my job. And my life. A big thank to my wife. You cover my back since a long time, even we had not only sunny days. But I don´t want to miss a single day. Through all the years you believed in me. Whatever comes up we´ll take it. A big kiss here and simply say “I love you” And a big thanks and hug for the one who loves me. Even we are so different. But we still understand each other, and sometimes we don´t need a single word. It comes the last years and I hope many years will follow. And thanks life that I don´t need to hide my love. You let me be what I am. And thanks for giving me some friends and buddies. Sometimes I feel old, some days m might be better than others. But at the end I can live my life without regrets, without excuses. Thanks.

Mui Ne – more russians

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We arrived in Mui Ne after 6 hrs ride by bus. Hotel is clean and may be 30 $ would be enough but staff is friendly and the atmosphere nice. However we thought that we had left the russian enclave Nah Trang but unfortunately even Mui Ne is 80 % russian occupied territory. *sigh*
We went out for dinner and found a valuable restaurant. Most other locations much to expensive and some of them have a russian menu only. Well you may understand that if there´s no vietnamese and no english language we feel not welcomed at those places. And while we had dinner we were discussing if either we are too old or the times have changed. Here in Vietnam we didn´t find a place like we know and have been in Thailand. Or may be we glorify the old days at Koh Payam when we were sitting around a table and talked about everything and anything. May be we saw enough places and we´re not made for those trips any longer. Next vacation brings us may be to the Harz (famous landscape in the middle of Germany) or to New Zealand or Canada. Too many “may be`s” right now. Let´s see what will happen.
Tomorrow we`ll rent a motorbike and go for the famous dunes and seeking for some smooth local areas nearby.

Thoughts of an old man

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I forgot to shave my head (or maybe I was too lazy to do it…) and after 5 days I looked into the mirror. An old man was starring against me. Most of the hairs were grey. Unbelievable. At the age of 6 or 7 a grey haired man to me was a grandpa (even I never met my grandfather he died in WW II). Now I´m grey haired and even I don´t feel that old it looks I become an old man. Fridays for relaxing and calm down now. Couple of years ago Friday meant “party on” now I happy with my cosy couch. But I guess that´s the way life goes on. And there´re also good things in your life when you get older, believe me :)

Debrecen, thoughts

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I was in Debrecen, Hungary. Just for work, not for vacation. It was cold and I had a lot of work to do. I did my best, as usual. Than it happend to me. During the night from Wednesday to Thursday, around 1 am. I felt pain in my chest. Couldn´t breathe normally. And I learned years ago what could be a symptom for a heart attack. Chest pain like an iron ring is one of them. It fears me really. I was waiting 30 minutes thinking and hoping that it would better. After a while because it doesn´t becomes better I called the hotel desk for a doctor. (This is one of my nightmares to die alone in a hotel room far away. And those thoughts appear in such a situation, for sure.) Staff mentioned I must take a taxi to local hospital. So I did. Meanwhile I had those hurts since around 60 minutes. I found an emergency station but no one of the nurses here was able to speak english. A doctor came in , woman, 30 years. She was asking a couple of questions in a rude way. Typically questions I guess. Then somebody took my blood for analysis, I was connected to an EKG machine (very old fashioned stuff like from 80´s) and after a while I got some pills. Then I was laying in a bed, starring at the ceiling and a lot of thoughts running to my brain. 2 hours later the doctor came and gave my the results of blood analysis. Some measured values where to high, especially for muscles (you remember your heart is a muscle…) and inflammation. And there were atypically lines at the EKG. So what to do ? I felt a little bit better after taking the pills and I begged for the results to take it with me for my doctor at home. It was 8 am at this time. No sleep no hunger just hearing inside my body. I went back to the hotel by taxi and cancelled the appointment for that day. And flight back was scheduled for Thursday as well so I went to bed and ordered a taxi to airport. Back home. I informed my wife via mobile and she was shocked. I landed and she picked me up from airport. We were talking about my last 24 hours. next day I visited my doctor. The document I got in Debrecen was worthless. Nobody speaks medical hungarian here. And they have other scale units than in Germany for blood measurement. So my blood was taken again and again an EKG. Blood pressure was to high and lines at EKG look better than the first in Hungary but show an atypically behavior of my heart. And I got an x-ray of my chest. It is not too bad, heart is a little bit bigger than it should be but inside tolerance. Lungs are good even I smoke. My doctor was talking to me. She said, may be it was not really a heart attack but it could be. Too late to find it out now. Other tests were needed but 24 hours ago. But she mentioned that for the future I better take care of myself. It seems that it was the first “warning shot” . So now I feel not really well but better. Physically. But in my mind I have a lot of questions to myself and I have to find a strategy however it looks to avoid such things a second time. I´m 43 years old now and the chance to live the same amount if years again is less than the chance to die before. Just thoughts. Conclusion. Reduce stress. Better food. Bring blood pressure down. Bring blood cholesterol down. And if it´s possible quit smoking (or reduce it at least). More meditation. Slow down life.